An Immigration Law's Fatal Ending

 This NY Times article chronicles the sad end result of immigration laws that separate families.

WEST BABYLON, N.Y. — Elizabeth Drummond was a single mother from a hardscrabble family whose roots go back to the Mayflower and an American Indian tribe. The man she married, Segundo Encalada, was a relative newcomer to the United States, sent illegally by his parents from Ecuador when he was 17.

He soon became “Daddy Segundo” to her little boy, coached her through the Caesarean births of two daughters, and worked construction and landscaping jobs here on Long Island to support them all.
In an earlier era of America’s immigration history, they could have stayed together, and Mr. Encalada might still be alive. But in July 2006, when Mrs. Encalada was pregnant with their third daughter and immigration crackdowns were sweeping the country, her husband was ordered by immigration authorities to take “voluntary departure” back to Ecuador.

They thought of hiding, she says, but chose to follow the rules, accepting the wrenching separation that has become the only path to a legal family life for hundreds of thousands of such couples. Under laws affecting those who married after April 2001, foreign spouses who entered without a visa must leave and seek one from a United States Consulate in their native land.'

Their lawyer said that would take two months to a year. Instead, one year turned into three; Mrs. Encalada lost their apartment, and her son was hospitalized for depression at age 8. In July, after she flew to Ecuador for a joint interview at the United States Consulate in Guyaquil, officials there rejected the couple’s application with a form letter saying they had “a marriage of convenience.”

Mrs. Encalada, 32, wrote the White House, the State Department and Congressional offices to plead for help. When most did not respond, she found a new lawyer and started over. But her husband, 28, apparently lost hope. On Dec. 15, facing another Christmas far from his family, he drank poison.
Over the years, many couples who had to separate have managed to reunite; others split up for good. Some lawmakers see the hurdle as necessary to deter illegal immigration and marriage fraud, while others say it needlessly tears families apart.

But no one really keeps track of the results. The visa ordeal that left Mrs. Encalada a widow with four young children hints at a hidden toll.

Public attention has focused on the visa a United States Consulate in Nigeria granted to the man accused in the Christmas bombing attempt. But under tougher immigration laws enacted in 1996, the system also gives distant consulates vast power to delay or deny visas to would-be immigrants trying to return to their American families.

“The State Department should be ashamed of itself in this case,” said Representative Steve Israel, a Long Island Democrat whose staff found American consular officials unresponsive to several e-mail messages sent on Mrs. Encalada’s behalf from August to November. “Immigration policy in the United States is dysfunctional no matter which side of the issue, or the border, you stand on.”

Adriana Gallegos, a spokeswoman for the State Department, would not comment on the case. “It’s against the law to talk about visa records,” she said. “We can’t explain why it was denied or what was the process.” She added that her own efforts to learn more from consular officials in Guyaquil had been unsuccessful.
 
Aspects of the case are mystifying. Although Mrs. Encalada said she showed the consular interviewer copious evidence of her Feb. 3, 2005, marriage, including family photo albums and apartment leases, the consulate later informed Mr. Israel’s office that it had no record of her being there.

Mrs. Encalada protested that assertion in an urgent e-mail message to the consulate on Oct. 22: “How can there be no proof at all that we were there for our interview on July 20th 2009 with an interview time of 2:00? Please let me know what our next step is in this process, I need my husband home and my children need their father back!!!”

There was no reply until Christmas Eve, the week after Mr. Encalada’s suicide, when the consulate suddenly apologized for the delay and professed great concern about her case. Its e-mail message asked for her airline boarding pass, a description of the person who interviewed her and other information.

Mrs. Encalada has not replied. “Now he’s gone, it doesn’t matter anymore,” she said.
She still seemed stunned on a recent afternoon, surrounded by clamoring children in a battered house they share with her divorced father, a 58-year-old Marine Corps veteran recently laid off from his construction job, and her sister, a receptionist with two children.

Mrs. Encalada and her parents said the family’s troubles started with a gathering at her mother’s house one Friday night in July 2004, when a drunken guest meddled in a family dispute, then summoned the police, claiming Mr. Encalada had threatened her. Mr. Encalada eventually pleaded guilty to harassment in the case, a misdemeanor, and served 30 days in jail in 2006.

Legally, the offense was too minor to affect the couple’s pending petition for his green card, but in practice it resulted in his transfer to immigration custody. Released on $7,500 bond, he agreed to leave for Ecuador and seek a visa.

As Mrs. Encalada sifted through photos of their vanished life and their week’s reunion in Ecuador, her children crowded around. Selena, 5, back from kindergarten, waved a picture she had found.
“Daddy’s holding me; he’s changing me when I was a baby,” she crowed.

Hailey, 4, grabbed another photo and ripped it. Alanna, 3, born five months after her father left, was tired of being told she was not the baby photographed in his arms. “I want to be there, too!” she cried, throwing herself on the floor.

Only Griffin, 9, was silent, lying face down on a couch.

“He did take it very hard,” Mrs. Encalada said later, recalling how the boy cried himself to sleep in his stepfather’s arms the night before they parted, then began to misbehave at school or refused to go.
She had no car, she said, and as Griffin’s absences mounted, she took him on foot, an hour’s walk. Twice the school called Child Protective Services to investigate possible neglect, and twice the caseworker determined the allegation was unfounded, she said, only to have the school make a new referral.

“It got to the point I had to put him in a mental institution or C.P.S. would take him away,” she said.
Griffin, a third grader, spent a week on a psychiatric ward with a diagnosis of “mood disorder,” and given Risperdal, an antipsychotic drug. He returned to a home where he and his mother sleep on recliners in the living room and the girls share two couches.

“The C.P.S. worker said they need beds,” Mrs. Encalada said, after patiently doling out noodle soup. “I have no money to buy beds.”

Thousands of dollars went to legal expenses and filing fees, much of it borrowed, she said. Mrs. Encalada, who formerly worked as a cashier and for an insurance company, was warned by lawyers not to apply for public aid because it would jeopardize the immigration case.
“Thank God for my dad,” she said. “If it were not for him, I wouldn’t have a roof over my head for me and the children.”

Recent research on children separated from parents through immigration enforcement has found that psychological distress and family hardship are typical. A bill sponsored by Representative José E. Serrano, a New York Democrat, would give immigration judges discretion to take family situations into account in deportation proceedings — leeway largely eliminated by the tougher laws of 1996.
But opponents see such measures as a back door to amnesty and a reward to illegal immigrants for having children.

Such policy conflicts mean little to Mr. Encalada’s in-laws, who reproach him only for ending his life. “He was a wonderful father and a wonderful husband, a very hard worker,” said Mrs. Encalada’s mother, Liz Volz. “If he was here right now, I would yell and scream at him. But I have a lot of sympathy for what he was going through.”

Only after the consulate denied the validity of their marriage, when Mrs. Encalada consulted a new lawyer, did the couple learn about a separate hurdle. The law imposes a 10-year ban on re-entry for having stayed a year or more in the United States without permission; it can be waived only through a show of extreme hardship.

The second lawyer had started that process when Mr. Encalada gave up.

Raising Kids in Mexico

One of the more frequent requests I receive is advice about raising children in Mexico. I have two children, and I have lived with them, alone and with my husband, when they were three and nine (I have twins). However, I have only lived in Mexico on a short-term basis, so what I will report here is based on interviews I have had with expats and Mexicans who have lived and raised their children in both the U.S. and Mexico.

Before I go too far into this discussion, I want to emphasize that too often Americans will compare their options in the U.S. and Mexico as if there were only two variables at work (i.e., saying something simplistic like, "Schools are better in the U.S. than in Mexico"). The truth is, in the U.S. parents and others make choices every day about the type of lives they want to lead, and each choice made means that there were other options that were not selected. For instance, I'm not thrilled about living in American suburbia: it's an isolated existence, we're car dependent in many respects, and things are too sterile and consistent for my taste. The schools are great, however, and my husband and I have made this "deal with the devil": we live in the burbs because it works well for one set of priorities (the kids). We realize we could live a much different life in my home state (West Virginia) or my husband's (Pennsylvania), particularly in a college town. To make that move, we would have to give up living close to the city and the benefits we enjoy here: museums, world-class performing arts, great restaurants and bi-lingual schools. The schools in WV are not bad, but they just cannot offer the same programs and experiences we enjoy here.

I know all of this seems obvious, but the fact that our options are limited even in the U.S. it is something that is often overlooked in these types of discussions.

What is it like to raise children in Mexico, and specifically San Miguel? It depends on the age of your children. Most everyone I know in SMA (myself included) believe that small children (younger than 12) really benefit from the Mexican family lifestyle. Children are cherished in a way that is (I believe) almost incomprehensible in the U.S. For the most part, young children are not expected to act like little adults in public, so you don't have to worry if your baby cries during a solemn church service or wedding (yes! you can bring children to weddings in Mexico) and you can take small children nearly everywhere. It is common for couples with babies and young children to take them to dances during fiesta season, for example. The children play together while the adults socialize. It is really quite charming.

Specific to the SMA Expat community: if you're a young mother, for instance, you'll find a "mommy" group, but you'll also find a large number of people of different ages who will also support your parenting endeavors. You can also expect childcare to be less expensive than in the U.S., but to be honest, it depends on where you live to make this comparison soundly. I live in suburban D.C., and the summer camps for school-age children are not less expensive in SMA than here in Fairfax. If I were in West Virginia or some areas of Pennsylvania, I expect most childcare would be significantly less expensive than SMA.

My children LOVE going to Mexico. They have more freedom there than in the U.S., and opportunities to do things that we might not be able to afford in the U.S. For instance, my daughter took private tennis lessons last summer (we have to settle for group lessons here) and I have friends in SMA who are big equestrians and their children compete in events that are largely the hobbies of the rich and famous in the U.S. Art and music classes in Mexico are generally very affordable as well.

While some activities are more accessible, others are less so. There are fewer organized sports (especially for girls), beyond soccer, so children who want to play organized baseball or basketball will not have that opportunity in SMA. The availability of sports will vary with the community in Mexico, however. Where I did my first fieldwork project in another community in Guanajuato there were baseball leagues for kids. Also, sturdy girls who really want to play can join boys. I have a good American friend in Quito, Ecuador, and his daughter plays soccer in the boys league, and she is the only girl in the city doing this (we fully expect her to receive a Division I scholarship when she returns for college). Alternatively, there are pick-up games in Parque Juarez in SMA, and there are summer sports camps available for children as well.

The big issue that concerns the parents of younger children in SMA is the educational system. As is the case in the U.S., educational options are variable from family to family. I have met parents who have been adamant that the trade off of living in a loving supportive community outweighs the lack of great schools, and that the Mexican schools are just fine and their children will study in Mexico schools through high school. Most parents agree that the primary school offerings are adequate but high school is not, and many reported concern that their children are not getting the same exposure to science education and computer literacy that is common in the U.S.

Some parents of high school age children opt to send their children to the U.S. to live with relatives during high school, to leave SMA so their children can study in the U.S. or another country, and I met one family that will be sending a child to a private boarding school in the U.S. I also interviewed one woman who explicitly stated that her now grown children did not have the same educational opportunities that they would have had if they had grown up in the U.S., and that was her one regret about raising her children in Mexico. Despite the lack of educational options, I met only one family that home-schooled their children. I was surprised by this, and still wonder why this is not a more common option for parents who are concerned about the educational system in Mexico.

The larger issue (from my perspective) is the socialization of children who are raised in the Expat community and how that experience shapes them and their future relationships. While every parent I spoke to this year and last is convinced that the experience of growing up in Mexico is a good thing for their kids, my interviews with the grown children of expats have not demonstrated that the experiences were unequivocally positive. Keep in mind that I have only interviewed grown children who still live in SMA--I have not had access to adults who were raised in SMA but now live in the U.S. Of the group that remains in SMA (and it is small), it is significant that these children of expats have decided to remain in SMA and report being happy there. A few also had regrets: living far from extended families was not a big problem growing up, but later in life (after parents passed away) it made life much more isolated than it might have been. Some grown expat children also reported feeling alienated or out of place in the U.S. and in San Miguel. For the most part, adult children of expats seemed to feel most at home in San Miguel when their own parents were more integrated into the community.

What is not clear is how "bi-cultural" expat children are or will be. By this I mean it is not clear if children raised in San Miguel are truly able to easily work and adapt to life in both the U.S. and Mexico. Clearly, the adult expat children raised in SMA were functioning well in SMA, but as I have noted previously on this blog, SMA is certainly not typical of life in Mexico. The young parents who are currently raising their children in Mexico believe that there is an inherent benefit to being completely bilingual (and I concur), but it is not clear that children or their adult parents are (regardless of their language abilities) are bi-cultural. I mention this only because many people in the U.S. write to me indicating that they want to move to SMA for a Mexican cultural experience. While SMA is part of Mexico, the local culture is not so much Mexican as a Mexican-Expat hybrid. It's not Mexican, it's not U.S. (or Canadian, or foreign), but a combination of the several cultural traditions that is in itself a distinct culture. That is (from my academic perspective) fascinating, but living in SMA does not mean that a foreigner who enjoys SMA could expect to live comfortably or successfully in other parts of Mexico or Latin America.

There are other concerns about raising children in Mexico that were not raised by my informants, but I have observed watching Mexican immigrant families in the U.S. One is freedom: kids in Mexico have a lot of it. This works well because families tend to be well connected and even if your mother is not watching your every move, you can bet that one of her friends (or a friend of your grandmother, aunts, uncles or cousins) will be watching and report straight back to your folks if you do something you should not. Mexican families in the U.S. are often shocked at the behavior of their teen-age children who do what they want shamelessly (sin vergüenzados). It takes a while for Mexican parents in the U.S. to figure out that without the vigilance of friends and family, their child rearing techniques do not work very well in the U.S. It seems unlikely that expat families have the same connections and "village" experience raising their children, as most Americans are not deeply connected to native San Miguelenses. The expat community is very close, however, so it could be that people watch out for neighborhood children in a similar way that Mexican families do. I simply cannot say definitely that they do.

My advice for anyone considering moving their family to SMA: you have to consider why you want to move and what you expect to gain for your life there. Like any community in the U.S., there will be benefits and limitations to living in Mexico. There are other locations in Mexico that I would choose over San Miguel to raise my own children, but that is related to the fact that the children and I already speak Spanish and living among Mexicans would be a top priority for our family. That is not a criticism of SMA; its a personal preference. What you have to remember is that what SMA has to offer is a strong, supportive community which is worth a great deal, especially in today's world.

Expat Family Values

I've been thinking a lot about families, well, really only my own family. When I was about 10 days into this project, I started to get really homesick. Like cry myself to sleep at night homesick. Somehow when I planned this field trip, I failed to calculate how long I would be away versus how long I had been away during past research trips to Mexico. When I sat down and thought about it, it has been years since I was away for longer than 2 weeks by myself. Last year, I came with my husband and kids, and it was great. I was more stressed and tired than they were, but after all, I was working the entire time we were here.

The funny thing about working here in SMA is that most of the expats here have left their extended families behind. The couples who have grown children often tell me that they felt free to come here because their kids were grown and on their own. The young marrieds have told me that they never saw their extended families more than two to three times a year anyway, so Mexico hasn't changed much in that regard. When I asked one gentleman who has been here for over 50 years what it was like raising his daughter in Mexico and far away from his parents and siblings simply said, "you know, it was wonderful."

Last year one of my first informants, a woman I identified as "Julia," told me that in general, expats of her generation either had no extended families or were not on good terms with their extended families. This morning as I was eating breakfast in the Bagel Cafe, the local expat haunt, one gentleman explained, "Normally, as you get older, your friends become less important and your family more so. But for expats, it's the opposite. Our friends become like our family, and family relationships often become more distant."

The irony (for me) is that many of the expats that I interview say that they really admire Mexican family values, and the ways that multi-generation households stay together and maintain close ties, sometimes knowing third or fourth cousins, great uncles and aunts, and so on. I find this ironic in that expats admire what they themselves do not have (or perhaps do not want). At the same time, what anthropologists would call "fictive kinship," strong relationships and obligations between non-blood relatives which are often formalized through ritual practice, seem to take on greater significance in the expat community.

My first response to this is "to each his/her own." Family dynamics can be tricky at best, and downright destructive at worst. And there is a certain joy that I experience when I know I have a really good, reliable friend. I can only imagine that having an entire community of such friends would be extremely satisfying. Still, I cannot imagine living so far from my mother, sister, or someday, my kids. I know the globalizing world seems to dictate that people move farther and farther from their hometowns or homelands. Maybe tonight I'm exceptionally sentimental because, alas, I would like nothing better than to kiss my kids goodnight and sleep next to my husband, or maybe I'm feeling some of the emotion that accompanies living abroad.

If there is any aspect of the expat life that I think should (and could) be emulated in the U.S., it would be the ways that this group has mastered the art of friendship, and made a lifework of making friends and supporting one another. You should not have to leave your homeland to find this, but it seems being an expat and being a good friend go hand in hand.